Hocus Pocus 2: Hopelessly Unentertaining

There have been a few movies that were released this year that make strong cases for worst film of the year. The Contractor fails to follow basic rules of cinematography while delivering a predictable plot, Moonfall
is a mess of conspiracy and science fiction nonsense that, despite some cool effects shots makes Geostorm look like Citizen Kane, and Morbius
was very clearly the product of studio interference leading to two movies being haphazardly spliced together with poor results. Not to be left out, Disney’s latest Disney+ original legacy sequel Hocus Pocus 2 makes a sold case to take home that dubious honor.

Hocus Pocus 2 takes place 29 years after the original and follows the Sanderson sisters (Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy) who return and try to prevent their imprisonment for a second time after being accidentally freed from their curse on Halloween. Whitney Peak, Belissa Escobedo, Lilia Buckingham, Tony Hale, and Sam Richardson also star in the film.

While it is obvious that Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy are having a blast reprising the roles, the majority of the work for the trio comes from Midler who is by and large carrying the performance. The screentime that the three have does not indicate a positive relationship (aside from the pointless 15-minute-long flashback to 1600s Salem), closer to a relationship between Mugsy and Rocky from the Bugs Bunny cartoon than anything that resembles real affection. This would be fine if the resolution of the third act of the film was not contingent on there being something that looks like familial love in the relationship.

The film also has one of the most egregious examples of product placement in recent memory, possibly eclipsing 2017’s Power Rangers
having the Zeo Crystal buried under a Krispy Kreme. A not-unsubstantial amount of time in the movie is spent watching the Sanderson sisters find and mess around inside a Walgreens. Product placement is fine and is a great way for a production to offset some of the costs, however there is a fine line where it goes from a small thing that is noticeable to a narrative tangent that is functionally a commercial.

On a final thought, while the Sanderson sisters are designed to be villains and are ostensibly the antagonists of the film, there is this weird phase that Disney is going through currently where products about villains are not allowing them to be fully villains. The Sanderson sisters want unlimited magic powers to eat children whenever they want without having to worry about being trapped again, however the problem is the movie tries to hard to make them redeemable or likable. There is a way to have comedy with them delivering some of the comedy without making them feel like positive characters. This isn’t the first time this has happened in recent history either; The Book of Boba Fett had the titular character, a ruthless bounty hunter, take over an organized crime syndicate and not actually do any crime and Marvel’s The Thunderbolts (historically Marvel’s answer to DC’s Suicide Squad) features two antagonists on the team, neither of which are truly villains.

Hocus Pocus 2 is a skippable movie, and by not watching it a viewer is not likely to miss much. As October begins, the amount of new Halloween content is going to grow and there are better ways to spend an hour and forty minutes. There are a few good jokes in the movie, but it is not enough to salvage the film and make it a watchable experience.

Final Rating: 4/10